But I’m Right…And Why That Doesn’t Matter
Y’all, I looooooooooove being right. I don’t really mean right as in always doing the right thing, I mean right as in always having an answer and never being wrong. Even when I’m wrong, I tend to be super confident in my wrong answer and concede to the fact that I’ll find the right answer later. Being right has to be one of my favorite pastimes, directly behind college football and eating French fries with no regards to weight gain. These are just a few of my favorite things!
(In my mind, my soul looks like this picture when I’m trying to be right all the time. This is indeed five-year-old me.
Now, as much as I love being right (and if you’re still reading, you probably love it too), I am well aware that this comes with me wanting my way most of the time. Which means, once I’ve decided that something is a good idea, I want it EXACTLY the way that I envisioned. But I’m a teacher AND I asked God to give me patience (I know, feel free to chuckle). So, if we’re doing the math, we know nothing about this is adding up correctly.
I have said before that teaching would make me a better person before it’s all said and done. I’m proud (probably not the right word choice) to report that I was more right than I ever knew. In my very active imagination, teaching would slowly rub away some of the rougher parts of my personality and heart; things like being slow-to-warm, overly competitive and selectively rigid (if you know me, feel free to add to this list). What I was not expecting was a daily mirror being held to my face to see my faults so up close and personal. So, this process has been less of a slow rubbing away of faults and more of a vigorous sandpapering. Which is fine (I think).
But this week (and a little bit of last week…okay and some of the week before that), I lost. I let the pride of wanting to be right, outweigh the gift of growth and correction. Life got really busy and I didn’t feel like reflecting on how I could be better, I just wanted things to get done how I asked. The more things weren’t done to my liking, the more I chose to cling to the fact that “I was right.” Now, the thing about me being so right, is that I was blinded to all the ways I was so wrong. And I know that is the story for many of us! We want the proper result, but things like time constraints and general aggravation cloud our vision.
The biggest kicker is that I knew better, I had just decided I didn’t want to do better because I was tired (which is not a viable excuse, but I try to stay honest here). You may be reading this and you’re tired too. Trust me, I feel you! But here are a few things I learned after I decided to stop being so stubborn.
1. Nothing but pride really stopped me from really looking at myself. I may have been tired, annoyed, or “over it,” but ultimately it was my pride of wanting things my way.
Pride comes before destruction, and an arrogant spirit before a fall. Proverbs 16:18 HCSB
2. Tired is not a good enough reason to be a part-time Believer. Surely, everyday won’t be smooth sailing. But it’s in the rougher days that we’ll build greater endurance.
So let's not get tired of doing what is good. At just the right time we will reap a harvest of blessing if we don't give up. Galatians 6:9 NLT
3. Anytime that I actively choose not to be fully in God’s light, I am inactively choosing to be in full darkness (this one kicked me right in the chest). As much as I like to believe I’m the exception to the rule (in most things), God is pretty clear on this one.
And the judgment is based on this fact: God's light came into the world, but people loved the darkness more than the light, for their actions were evil. John 3:19 NLT
4. With all the grace and mercy that I need on a daily basis, it would be in my best interest to hand out grace and mercy liberally!
Don’t pick on people, jump on their failures, criticize their faults – unless, of course you want the same treatment. That critical spirit has a way of boomeranging. Matthew 7:2 MSG
Even when we are the most right, there is a chance we could still be a little wrong. Let’s be gracious today! Matthew 7: 3-5