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  • Melinda K. Bowens


#Breaking the Cycle

What are cycles in our lives? Do they even exist? Or am I just being dramatic?! (Which is a very real possibility every day) But humor me for a few moments with the following questions.

Have you ever said to yourself…

“I sound just like my mom/dad!”

“That’s definitely something *insert awesome friend’s name* would have done!”

“This whole scenario feels really familiar, but I don’t know why.” (Or maybe you do know why, who knows)

Did you answer yes to at least one of those questions?!

If you did, keep reading because this is probably for you! If you didn’t answer yes, still keep reading because I like to believe this is still for you!


For whatever the reason, we tend to mimic and recreate things we picked up from other people over time; even when we’re not trying. We could have picked up habits from our parents, hobbies from our siblings, hand gestures from a friend or a catchy phrase from a coworker. We never meant to learn these things and we surely didn’t intend to start doing them ourselves. But here they are now, a part of our everyday lives like an uninvited guest without the first invitation.

Now, the thing about uninvited guests is that some are cool and know when to leave. They know when their time is up and they need to head back to their own homes. But those other uninvited guests – they stay, linger, eat all your food, wear out their entire welcome and wonder why we looked so tired. It’s those type of guests that drain our energy, time and (let’s be honest) patience. Another thing about uninvited guests is that we’re sometimes too polite or nice to just ask them to leave.

The same thing happens with cycles in our lives.


Some (most) of the cycles were uninvited, but somehow we still ended up being a participant. Some cycles turned out to be pleasant surprises and others felt like the bane of our existence (I already told you I was dramatic). Either way, we still found ourselves in the process being too polite or nice to leave when we knew our time was up there.

This time, by polite or nice, I mean scared or complacent. (So hear me out before you say that isn’t you.)

The thing about cycles is that they are consistent; we know what is coming next. Even if the outcome is always unfavorable, we always know it’s coming. And there is comfort in consistency; even when something consistently sucks.

In the same way light creates light creates light, darkness creates darkness creates darkness. And for many of us (as I wave my hand the highest), there has been this seemingly never-ending mix of the two happening in life and we’re just a little (okay, a lot) tired of the merry-go-round. We’re ready for “light” to be the norm for our lives. We’re ready for new cycles!


If you’re still here with me, nodding your head in agreement and yelling “yep” every time a sentence sounds like your life as well, then we’re in business!

So, now we know that we have some cycles in our lives we want to be different, what’s the plan?! (Or this is the question I imagine you would ask)

The plan is to read, listen and seek God intentionally on this topic. The plan is to do this collectively and daily from now until Easter Sunday. The plan is to specifically look into the areas of (1) Defenses, (2) Self-Sabotage, (3) Emotional Blocking and (4) Love. Finally, the plan is to be committed; proper consistency yields results.

Invite a friend to subscribe who you think would benefit from #BreakingTheCycle!!!

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