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  • Melinda K. Bowens

So, what if I...told the truth?

Y’all, we can be such a lying group of people.

That was a strong and rather abrasive opening line, but I’m not backing off of it. I said what I said. But I should also probably explain what I mean. I mean, we lie all the time. Sometimes we lie from the time we wake up and don’t stop lying until we rest our eyes again for the night. Now, if you grew up believing that lie was a curse word, then I do apologize. I wasn’t wrong, I just apologize for sending your system into shock 100 words into reading. But don’t jump ship yet! There’s more to this post than me using the past, present and future tense of the word lie (even though that was kind of fun).

Today, we mostly live in a culture where being happy and living our best lives are the greatest desires. Or at least that’s what my extensive Instagram research taught me. Being happy and living the best life possible aren’t bad things by themselves, but they do leave us feeling overwhelmed and anxious when we think we are missing the mark. More specifically, when we think we’re missing a mark that never had a defined location. If we don’t feel accomplished during one period in our lives, we start to reevaluate everything as if it were a waste. It becomes difficult to see life as a marathon because it seems other people are running a 10-minute mile and while we’re struggle to keep pace at a 20-minute mile.


If we would just say that we’re struggling with comparisons or self-doubt (or so many other things), then there would be no need for this post. But we don’t do that, so here we are friends. Instead, when the people who care about us most ask how we’re doing, we say fine but we really just need a hug in that moment. When someone asks us about future career plans in life, we say things that sound amazing but we truly want to say “I have no idea and that’s cool.” When someone ask why we’re single, we give them that good churchy “I’m waiting on God,” when actually the honest reply is more like “Sis, if I knew the answer to that question we wouldn’t be having this conversation.” Okay, that last one was for me, but you’re picking up what I’m putting down.

It’s not always those big lies that keep us feeling trapped, it’s the small ones we tell ourselves and others every day that leave us feeling stressed.

Because while we’re in pursuit of being happy and living out best lives, we become insecure when the answer is “I’m just not there yet.” So, what do we do? We start faking it until we make it. We could win Academy Awards with some of the performances we’ve put on throughout the years. But where does that leave us? It leaves us with truths that we wish we could tell to others.

Why are the little truths so hard? Because truth is vulnerability and vulnerability is hard.


Truth is vulnerability and vulnerability is hard.

That’s it. If we started telling others our truths, we would also start letting others closer to the real us and that can be scary. Because it’s one thing if someone misunderstands the fake us, it was fake. So does it really matter?! But it’s another (more difficult thing) if someone misunderstands and generally doesn’t like the real us. That’s a gut punch to the ego right there! But I prefer to believe that living authentically and free is more important than a temporary ego scratch.

So, I have an idea! What are three small truths that would free up some emotional energy in your life? Write them down. Now, share these truths with just one other person you trust. (Come on, you had to know something like this was coming. Do it!) And to make sure I’m “walking the walk,” here are my truths (that I’m sharing with more than one person, so you’re getting off easy lol):

  1. Writing and sharing are the most nerve-racking experiences because I truly wonder if I sound crazy…or if anyone reads these posts at all. (I know you do, but hey, anxiety happens.)

  2. I love teaching! But at 29 years old, I wonder how serious do my students take me since they’re only a few years younger than I am or in many cases, older than I am.

  3. I have really awesome dreams and goals, but I have poor time management and planning. I fear that those two things ultimately hinder my growth.

Today’s homework:

Own your truth. Write your truth. Share your truth.


Question of the Day:

What would change if you told the truth?

Encouraging Verses:

I have no greater joy than to hear that my children are walking in the truth.

3 John 1:4 ESV

You will know the truth, and the truth will set you free.

John 8:32 HCSB

If the Son gives you freedom, you are free!

John 8:36 CEV

*All verses better understood in context


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